Updated: Jul 27, 2020
Through coaching and being coached I have had exponential professional and personal growth. This is a story about some of the things that have changed my life in the process.
When I began my path to becoming a coach, I had been doing consulting for small businesses for more than 10 years. I wanted to do more though. Working for non-profits and running a women’s business owners group felt like giving back to the community but I wanted to help people really transform their lives. To be happier, to find joy, to live in love and gratitude. Little did I know how much coaching would change MY life before I started using the tools I learned to change other people’s lives!
Coaching is the art of using powerful questions, insight, intuition, and presence to unlock the answers to building a life you love. It can help you recognize self-limiting beliefs and shift your perspective to one of empowerment. It provides a framework to set goals, foresee obstacles and challenges, work out solutions for getting past them, and creates motivation to work through this process to achieve what ever you set your mind to.
During the first eight weeks of class to get certified for life coaching I began learning the tools to help others transform their lives and, in the process, began transforming my own. The first shift occurred when I began practicing Active Listening.
This is the process of listening for understanding rather than to reply. It requires you to engage in curiosity and learning rather than judgement.
Becoming an active listener made my consulting practice better, made me a better communicator, and increased the connections in all my relationships. Since I was focused on understanding what was being spoken, I learned what my clients really needed and what my friends and family were really feeling. This deepens our relationships with people. Here are a few great resources if you want to power up your communication skills in any relationship!
Powerful Questions -a game changer!
As a consultant I am usually telling people what they need to do. Coaching, on the other hand, is asking questions to determine what your client wants to do, what is holding them back, and how they can overcome those obstacles. Once again, I found myself coming from a place of curiosity and learning. What question could I ask to bring awareness to my client? What powerful question will shed light on the answer the client has locked inside (we all hold the keys to our own freedom!). As I studied hundreds of powerful questions and began integrating asking questions into my conversations with others, I noticed two big things.
1.) I was making breakthroughs and having incredible moments of awareness in my own life by answering these questions from my own perspective.
2.)When I asked other people powerful questions, a two minute conversation could easily lift some one’s day, shift their perspective on an issue they were struggling with and, in at least one situation – changed someone’s life!
Judging, blaming and shaming, others or ourselves, for anything that upsets us creates negativity and humiliation. It is not supportive and does not create motivation for change. Asking powerful questions from a place of curiosity and learning/understanding creates an environment of reflection, introspection, and growth. When we know better, we do better (I think that was - Oprah!)
I am a person who drives myself relentlessly. Finish one thing and what is next? And next? Anndddd next? I almost never gave myself a pat on the back or took a moment to feel proud of all I accomplished during the day (or within an hour). After having a coach who celebrates with me every week and reminds me to celebrate myself, I find myself celebrating every day. Celebrating helps when you finally do something you dread, like unloading the dishwasher (I hate it), and it feels amazing for the big stuff – like finally getting my new website published (WooHoo!!! Go ME!).
So, remember to celebrate yourself because you deserve it!
Tune in next time for.....
I also created an incredible ‘Power Morning Ritual’ because I am NOT a morning person. It has become a wonderful way to get started and set my mind up for joy and success that lasts the rest of the day......but you will have to catch the next blog for info on that!
Be well, my friends, and love yourself 💖